“Little eyes are watching.” As parents, we are all too aware. It’s why we practice manners at the dinner table. It’s why we scoop the broccoli onto our plates (and wait to raid the tub of ice cream until after their bedtime). Little eyes watch us wash our hands and brush our teeth. If we’re doing it, they probably see it.
Anyone else feel just a little bit nervous about that? Do they often see our best? I hate to say it, friends, but I’m just not sure.
Today feels like we’re immersed in a me-centered culture. A “what’s in it for me?” undertone flows through our day-to-day lives.
What is Me-Culture?
We wake up thinking about our calendar and what we have to accomplish. We watch the number of hearts on the selfies we post. We get cranky if the person in front of us takes extra time ordering their coffee. We circle the gas station like angry vultures, waiting to pounce on an open gas pump. We are very important people who have things to do and places to go.
We’re all guilty of these types of me-centered moments. And sure, it may not be all the time, but remember those little eyes? They’re taking it all in and learning to buy into this Me-Culture monster. I think we could all agree this isn’t what we want for our kids. We don’t want the next generation to end up full of people who are out for themselves. We want and need compassionate humans who will raise their own compassionate humans.
How to Counter Me-Culture
An easy way to get momentum going and change the narrative of Me-Culture is to let those little eyes see you practice regularly. Start within your family and work your way out! Consider some practical, every-day scenarios that can help teach our kids to think about others.
People
- Do you make eye contact and say good morning to people you pass in public?
- Do you make pleasant conversation with the person scanning your groceries?
- Do you pause your device to look up at the flight attendant taking your drink order?
I love what Maya Angelou said. “I’ve learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.” Every time you remember the person in front of you as worthy of respect and kindness, you chip away at Me-Culture.
Phones
- Do you put your phone down when your kids enter a room to talk to you?
- Are you on your phone when your kids hop in the car after school?
- Do you put your phone down when it’s your turn with the cashier at the store?
The main idea here is to put the phone down! When we’re immersed in our phone, we send a message that the device in our hands trumps the human in front of us. And what a damaging message. On our last days on Earth, none of us will wish we’d spent more time with technology. Embrace the person.
Driving
- Do you refrain from multi-tasking while driving?
- Do you allow others to go first even if you’re in a hurry or late?
- Do you keep comments of frustration about other drivers to yourself?
Talk about little eyes watching! Our kids have no choice, but to watch us drive. There’s nothing else for them to do! The politeness, the waves, the “you-first” attitudes or lack thereof send clear messages to children. Similar to sitting behind a computer screen, we say and do things behind the wheel that, most of us, wouldn’t be quite so bold to do and say to someone’s face. It’s a matter of character. And that’s a humbling thought when we see those eyes in the rearview mirror watching our every move.
The Other Stuff:
- Are you a person of your word? Do you do what you say you’ll do?
- Do you write thank you cards to those who have taken time to give you a gift or have shown you a kindness of some sort?
- Do you look for ways to be helpful in your neighborhood? (Carrying a neighbor’s trashcan up from the curb or offering to help an elderly neighbor rake his leaves.)
These scenarios are not all-encompassing and leave much to be done in a world that seems to have turned so disturbingly inward. But these scenarios are a start. They breathe fresh perspective into our lives when we are tempted to say “me first”. Little eyes are watching our every move. Our choices now will impact the next generation’s contribution to, hopefully, making the Me-Culture a thing of the past.
