Motherhood is full of moments when you just want to call your mom—for advice, for reassurance, or just to hear her voice. But when your mom is no longer here, those moments can feel especially heavy.

Five years ago when I was 3 months pregnant with my first daughter, my mom passed away. I lost my mom before becoming a mother myself. What was supposed to be the happiest time of my life was clouded by the sad realization that I would experience motherhood without the person I needed the most by my side. I naturally always imagined that she would be there when I had my own children, it was unbearable to accept the fact that I had to do this without her.

Navigating Motherhood Without Your Mom

There are times when I feel the void more deeply—when my children hit milestones, when I need comfort, or when life feels overwhelming. But over time, I’ve learned a few things that have helped me navigate motherhood without my mom.

1. Let Yourself Feel the Grief

There’s no timeline for missing your mom. Some days the grief is quiet; other days, it’s loud. I remind myself that it’s okay to sit with those feelings, cry when I need to, and acknowledge that loss doesn’t fade—it simply changes shape.

2. Keep Her Memory Alive

Though my children never met my mom, I make sure they know who she was. I share stories, cook her favorite meals, and carry on traditions that meant something to her. It helps me feel close to her, and it allows my children to feel connected to the grandmother they never met.

3. Find Your Support System

I don’t have my mom to turn to, but I’ve built a village. Friends, family, and even mentors have stepped in to offer wisdom and encouragement. Motherhood wasn’t meant to be done alone, so I lean on the people who uplift me.

4. Trust That She’s With You

Even though my mom isn’t physically here, I feel her presence in small, everyday moments. I see her in my children’s laughter, hear her voice in my own parenting, and feel her love in the way I nurture my family.

You’re Not Alone

If you’re navigating motherhood without your mom, I see you. It’s hard, it’s emotional, and some days are heavier than others. But you are not alone in this journey. Your mom’s love is still with you, woven into the way you mother your own children.

This blog post was originally published in 2016.  This is a slightly updated version of the original post. 

Contributing Sister Site and Author

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About Anny

Anny is a mom to two beautiful girls – Sofia and Olivia. Anny was born in the Dominican Republic and moved to New Jersey with her family when she was 5. She has been a Jersey girl most of my life until two years ago when she moved with her husband to Pittsburgh, where he’s originally from. Anny has a career in human resources and was working as a Corporate Recruiter until March when she delivered Olivia. Anny loves living in Pittsburgh and exploring the city’s Latin culture. She also loves to write and blogging has always been something she has wanted to do!

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13 COMMENTS

  1. Try 3 days before having my 1st child. T THREE DAYS.

    On the6th was 2 years . . .

    Hasn’t gotten much easier.

    To make matters worse my son’s father hardly helps with anything. Im not sure of the lesson I’m suppose to learn by all this….

  2. I lost my mother 25 years ago when I was 8 months pregnant with my oldest child. He was born 3 weeks after her death. I too have had a very similar experience as a motherless mother. She was never there to help me through all the milestones of motherhood or see my children accomplish their milestones. It definitely changed my world view. I hope you have discovered the book “Motherless Daughters” by Hope Edelman, there is also a Facebook page and now she has arranged retreats as well. It helped me realize I am not alone and there are other motherless daughters and motherless mothers. Wishing you peace as you continue mothering your children.

  3. I can most definitely relate to this article! I lost my mom 9 years ago and found out I was pregnant a month after she had passed. It was the most terrifying time of my life. What’s even worse now is that my two little ones will never know their grandmother who would’ve showered them with love and positivity just like she did with her own 6 children. I just hope I’m making her proud. ❤️ Thank you for your blog post!

  4. I can so relate. My mom died suddenly when o was 33 weeks pregnant. It’s been nearly three years. I feel ALL the things you just described. Especially the trouble leavinf my daughter and the fear of something happening while I am away. Thank you for sharing.

  5. This hits home so much. My mom was there when I had my first son but she died when I was 34 weeks pregnant with my second. I was lucky enough to be by her side and take care of her the last 12 days of her life but it was the hardest thing I’ve ever done. This month makes 6 months and I still struggle every day with the loss.

  6. Hi Jeff,

    Thanks so much for reading. You seem to be such a great dad, your kids and grandkids need you more than ever. I’m so sorry for your loss. I feel your daughter’s pain, it’s not easy. Praying for peace and comfort for your family.

  7. Oh my, this is me. 2 years ago I Lost my mom at 3 months pregnant with my daughter. I wrote something very similar not too long ago. To the author, you got a friend in this club neither of us asked to join. We can do it.

  8. Beautifully written! So true! I lost my wife two plus years ago. My daughter, son, and I grieve her loss every day. My daughter has two girls, that absolutely own me, and she shares and expresses the exact same feelings you have so accurately expressed here. She writes for the Mom’s Blog in Columbia, SC and has written about the same experience. May God bless you and your daughters, your family, going forward.